How Counselling Saved My Marriage

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How Counselling Saved My Marriage

My wife and I had been married for 20 years and I thought things were going OK. However, my wife was not happy. I couldn't understand why. We had a lot of fights and we even talked about divorce. In the end, my friend suggested that we see a marriage counsellor. I was sceptical but I agreed to do this. We spent many hours talking about our problems and I realised that I had been working long hours and ignoring my wife. As a result of the counselling, my marriage is back on track and my wife is really happy.


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Using Counselling to Improve Your Self-Esteem

There are many reasons why a person's self-esteem may take a hit. Whether it's due to a breakup, challenges at work, or another negative life event, there's help out there for everyone. By attending counselling sessions with a psychologist, you can rebuild your self-esteem. Here are some of the ways a professional can help you do so. 

Challenging Negative Thinking

At the root of poor self-esteem, you're likely to find some negative thought patterns. For example, you may always assume that someone being slow to respond to a message means they no longer like you. Or, you could feel as though your working day will always go badly. Your counsellor will help you recognise when you're engaging in certain thinking patterns. For example, if you engage in black-and-white thinking, you may be seeing things in extremes and feeling self-conscious as a result. By learning how to consider grey areas, you can remove some of the poor self-esteem that causes you to feel anxious.

Avoiding Making Assumptions

Making assumptions can cause you to doubt yourself. You may convince yourself that someone is thinking about you negatively or behaving towards you in a certain way because of something you did wrong. Overall, an assumption is a story you tell yourself without any proof for the conclusion you arrive at. When that conclusion causes your self-esteem to plummet, you need to learn how to challenge your assumptions to arrive at a more neutral or positive conclusion. Your psychologist can help you challenge assumptions by giving you the techniques required to learn how to challenge your lack of evidence. They'll also help you learn how to communicate with others when you worry. Eventually, when you see that some assumptions are untrue, you may experience a boost to your self-esteem.

Gently Tackling Fears

Facing your fears is a scary but healthy way to build your self-esteem. Let's say you have a fear of public speaking, for example. By speaking up more often during meetings at work and reflecting on the outcomes of that, you can gradually build your confidence for future events. Facing your fears under the guidance of a psychologist is especially useful, as they'll help you identify times when it isn't too daunting to do so. They'll also help you use other techniques, such as examining the worst possible outcomes and how likely they are to happen. As you successfully challenge your fears more often, your confidence should grow.

To learn more, reach out to a psychologist